Not gonna lie – with QueenCrab’s personal life the wonky way it was this year, good ol’ BandCrab got a bit sidelined. But never fear! We still have our annual best-of list to present! Agreed? Disagree? Let us know in the comments!
BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Bright Eyes –
The People’s Key
Who knew that spiritual pondering about ancient lizard people could be so beautiful?
BEST EP OF THE YEAR: Armistice –
S/T
Fey femme vox over Mexcellent trumpeting. Gorgeous.
BEST REISSUE: Smashing Pumpkins –
Siamese Dream
Billy Corgan’s best just got better with a new DVD of a classic 1993 concert.
MORE ADDICTIVE THAN CRACK! (aka best song of the year): Bright Eyes – Shell Games
Here it comes: that brand of heavy love only Conor Oberst could perfect.
MORE ANNOYING THAN CARROT TOP (aka worst song of the year): Foster the People – Pumped Up Kicks*
Notice the asterisk. This is actually a decent song, but it was on EVERY.DAMN.STATION. 24 hours a day. Also, it is NOT a cheerful dance song, people. It’s about Columbine.
BEST SURPRISINGLY GOOD ALBUM: Cake –
Showroom of Compassion
Though the hooks weren’t as hooky as past records, this one showed their greatest range.
BEST ALBUM NO ONE HEARD: Hunx and His Punx –
Too Young To Be in Love
Who knew the best girl group in ages would be fronted by a gay man?
CRITICS’ FAVORITE ALBUM TO JACK OFF TO: Coldplay –
Mylo Xyloto
Animal Collective didn’t release anything in 2011 – it was a slow year for music snobs, so they went total ironic.
BEST REASON TO RAID YOUR PARENTS’ CD COLLECTION: Rolling Stones –
Some Girls reissue
It’s better than test-driving SuperHeavy, right?
BEST REASON TO RAID YOUR YOUNGER SIBLING’S CD COLLECTION, THEN DESTROY IT: Justin Bieber –
Under the Mistletoe
Jesus just called. He says Christmas is canceled.
BEST MUSIC VIDEO: The Black Keys – Lonely Boy
Derrick Tuggle for president.
BEST LYRICS: “I was dressed in white, touched by something pure/Death obsessed like a teenager/Sold my tortured youth, piss and vinegar/I’m still angry with no reason to be.” (Bright Eyes – Shell Games)
The young grump grows up poetically.
BEST (CHEEKY) LYRICS: “I work out!” (LMFAO – Sexy and I Know It)
Don’t fight the allure of this guilty pleasure. You’ll lose.
THE “DON’T TELL MY COOL HIPSTER FRIENDS I LIKE THIS ALBUM” AWARD: “Weird Al” Yankovic – Alpocalypse
He does a better impression of Lady Gaga than Lady Gaga does.
THE “DON’T TELL MY COOL HIPSTER FRIENDS I LIKE THIS SONG” AWARD: Coldplay – Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall
Seriously, how emo can you get? I smell a “40 Year Old Virgin” joke in here.
BEST LIVE ACT: Flogging Molly
Raise a pint of Guinness to these working-class heroes!
BEST EMERGING BAND: Sunken Ships
I got this discarded CD after a Pistol Beauty gig and fell in love at first listen to these sensitive rockers.
BEST EMERGING ARTIST: Gin
Gravely-voiced earworm alert from New Zealand!
BEST COMEBACK: Pulp
Jarvis rejoined his Common People for a stellar secret Glastonbury set
LEAST WELCOMED COMEBACK: The Strokes
Thought Julian Casablancas couldn’t get any more jaded? Then
Angles happened.
THE “OMG I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES” AWARD (MALE): Conor Oberst
If you’re surprised by now, you don’t know me at all.
THE “OMG I WANNA ADOPT A BABY WITH YOU” AWARD (FEMALE): Madeline Follin
Cults’ button-cute singer is swoon-worthy.
THE “HUH, ACTORS CAN SING” AWARD: Jeff Bridges
The Dude finally put out an album this year. We abide.
THE “OH, WAIT, I TAKE THAT BACK. ACTORS CAN’T SING” AWARD: Mike Tyson
“The Hangover 2″ was already wretched enough without the boxer bellowing “One Night in Bankok.”
MUSIC-RELATED AWESOMENESS I”M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2012: New albums from Garbage, Smashing Pumpkins, No Doubt and Sigur Ros; Radiohead likely headlining Coachella; Paul McCartney plausibly writing the London Olympics theme